Gluten Free – Say it Ain’t So

My guts are talking back.  It’s been happening for a few months now:  Weird continuous bloating and other things I don’t really want to mention in a blog about food.  Suffice it to say I started thinking something was living in or around the area of my spleen.  I have a vivid imagination.  This thing had teeth and horns and a long slippery tongue.  Maybe its name started with a “C.”  At night, I could feel it in there, in my abdomen.  Then, I got a rash.

Weird, right?

After two uninsured trips to the doctor (diagnoses:  “I don’t know,”  “Stress,” “Nothing life threatening”), my acupuncturist said, “How about food allergies?  What about wheat?” 

I’m still trying to convince myself that a tumor would be worse.

For almost three weeks, I’ve stopped eating gluten (you’d be amazed at how vigilant you have to be at first:  Did you know you have to buy “gluten-free oatmeal?”), and yeah, the monster with teeth and horns has receded significantly. 

Did I mention I lost 7 pounds?  In one week?

Oh, I hate to become a statistic, another follower of what seems like a fad, but I gotta say I’m feeling better.

 In the meantime, I’m trying to figure out what being gluten free means to being an eater and a food person.  How can I taste everything if some things make me feel sick?  I guess I’m hoping that this intolerance will be like the dairy intolerance I have: small amounts don’t kill me.  But it does mean I’ll have to change the way I get fiber in my diet:  Good bye whole wheat pasta and whole wheat pizza and whole wheat chocolate zucchini bread.

So far, I’ve discovered quinoa pasta (not bad) and the plethora of very expensive gluten free breads (Rudi’s whole grain is good), but what about galettes, the one sweet I allow myself? 

That’s a question for the long term.  For right now, I’m just trying to get my system running better.  To that end, adding insult to injury, I’ve undertaken a two week cleanse, which will end in a fast and (the sensitive reader should avert her eyes here because I’m about to invoke the alimentary tract)----a colonic.

I’ll let you know how everything comes out.