Pleasure in Small Bits: A Valentine for Mom
If my mother taught me one thing about food, it’s that it
can be a secret pleasure. There’s a naughtiness
to surreptitious eating, a deep sense that you’re indulging yourself away from
the eyes of others. It’s the same reason
we go to the movies: We sit in the dark,
watching the lives of others—and there’s pleasure, a tiny sexual charge.
A good girl by sensibility, my mother was famous for sneaking the icing off the
cake in the fridge--one forkful at a time--or eating just the top of a halved watermelon “because
it was the best part.” She took her
pleasure in small bits, saving cans of Pepsi in the fridge with plastic lids so
she could pour a few sips at a time over ice into a rocks glass the same
way someone might dole out two fingers of bourbon.
In this way, my mother eked out gratification; these pleasures she allowed herself in a life
that didn’t serve up much of a sensual experience.
In my own life and my own kitchen, I’ve tried to make
indulgence an art form. I want to meet
flavors and sensations on the plate, in my mouth, with my hands. It’s only recently that I’ve seen my mother’s
influence in this. Her forbearance, her
secret indulgences and her pretenses, made me curious to go where she wouldn’t,
to give myself permission to explore food out in the open.
Still, we share of a love of indulgence. Here is a list of foods that my mother ate
that I now count as secret pleasures.
I turn to them when I’m frazzled, needing comfort, or feeing nostalgic. Each has its own capacity to light up my
brain, soothe and make me smile. Somewhere, mom is smiling too, eating whatever the hell she wants whenever she wants. Happy V-Day.
1. Cheesy Garlic
Bread - made with Kraft Parmesan cheese mixed with Miracle Whip (Mayo for me) on top of already slightly toasted bread laden with butter and garlic salt,
then put under a broiler until bubbly and just brown.
2. Baked Clam
Sandwiches – Minced clams mixed with cheddar cheese and a bit of chopped onion
with Miracle Whip (it was the 70s!), then slathered inside a hoagie bun,
wrapped in tin foil and baked in the over until crunchy on the outside and
gooey inside.
3. Bread
slathered with butter. Need I say more?
4. Cupcakes – Always
store bought, with the icing three times the size of the cake. I like the white ones, my mother preferred
chocolate.
5. Buttered popcorn. With a soft drink. Diet coke for me. Pepsi for mom.
6. Buttered toast
dipped in runny yolks.
7. Fratuda Dusa
(Piedmontese for fried sweet) or the more common Italian, Frittura Dolci di
semonlino – Lovely semolina (mom used cream of wheat) cooked with milk, eggs, almond extract and then once set,
cut into squares or logs, dipped in egg, rolled in crushed vanilla wafers and fried
in butter. We had it every thanksgiving
with Turkey.
8. Lays Potato Chips –
My own spin is to make home-made onion dip (saute a sweet yellow onion is a ton
of butter, cool, add Worcester and mix into sour cream) or to get the kettle
cooked variety and bake them with blue cheese.
9. Braunshwieger on
white bread with Miracle Whip. Now I’d
eat it with crunchy French bread and, you guessed it, Mayo.
10. Ice Cream Sandwiches
– Eaten when they’re slightly thawed so you can press the chocolate halves
together and lick vanilla ice cream out.
Brava!
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